


Breakthrough

by smilexdarling



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Flirting, Coming Out, F/M, Lesbian Character, Light Angst, M/M, Unrequited Crush, mentions of bipolar disorder, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-02-26 10:12:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13233558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilexdarling/pseuds/smilexdarling
Summary: In an alternate universe, we pick up after the Kosegruppa Christmas party to see Vilde come into her own through the eyes of her friends.Breakups, family troubles, sexuality.Vilde's got a lot to figure out.This is how it happens.





	1. JANUAR/EVA

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!
> 
> Some admin:
> 
> -This story takes place in an alternate universe where the season four we know didn't happen. There are some references to season four thrown in, but for the most part this is a canon divergence. 
> 
> -This fic is finished! There are six chapters in total and I'll post a new chapter every Monday and Friday. 
> 
> Now that that's out of the way, I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Happy reading!

“Let’s get fucked up!” 

Eva ducked under the raised arm of the guy who shouted as he headed toward her kitchen, where the booze was. She had no idea who he was, but that meant the party was probably going to be one to remember, or better yet, not remember.

She’d gone a long time without hosting any major parties at her house. After that mess with the cops in the fall and the subsequent grounding by her mom, she had done her best to keep her nose clean. 

But it had been months since then and her mom was out of town and it was her final year at Nissen and she wanted to throw a damn party. It would all work out, they just needed to make sure the music didn’t get too loud and it’d be chill.

Speaking of music, Eva went to go change it to one of her playlists. Freaking Magnus. She shook her head when she spotted him over by the front door, doing that thing where he focused really intensely while talking to Vilde. She was pretty sure he was responsible for whatever crap was playing. 

Ever since he and Vilde had started dating he’d been around a lot more, which was fine, but he seemed to think he was like a master DJ or some shit. He was not. Whatever, the party needed some top forty immediately. 

* * *

Eva tugged on Jonas’ lip with her teeth, giggling when he winced. He didn’t seem any worse for wear, just chuckled at her eagerness and leaned back in to capture her lips in a slow, tingling kiss. 

She was tipsy and when that happened she had a hard time not getting a little too into it, but who could blame her? Jonas was hot as fuck and he was all hers and she loved kissing him, especially at a party when she had the whole weekend ahead of her, a deep bass making it feel like she was vibrating all the way down to her bones, and a warm Jonas looking at her like she was the only other person in the world. 

His smoldering sex eyes didn’t help either. Yeah, no one could blame her for being enthusiastic. 

Just as she leant in to nibble at his earlobe, the song changed to something slower and somber. He nuzzled at her before whispering in her ear that he was going to smoke in the bathroom with the boys. 

Eva rolled her eyes but smiled and pushed him in what she guessed was the direction of the stairs, she couldn’t quite remember. 

Maybe she was more drunk than she thought. 

Anyway, all the talk about bathrooms made her suddenly realize she really needed to go, so she pushed away from the wall Jonas had backed her into to find her mom’s room. 

While stumbling through the crowd of people, Eva couldn’t help but get a little distracted, stopping here and there to hug random people. They all looked so happy and carefree, she just had to hug them. You couldn’t not hug somebody who was covered in glitter and flailing around to Fifth Harmony, it was too cute. 

Eventually, she found her mom’s room and made it into her en suite.

She took care of business and finished washing her hands, yawning as she walked back into the bedroom. 

She didn’t make it further than that though because Vilde was sitting on the edge of her mom’s bed in the dark. 

Even if Eva hadn’t been able to see the sheen of tear tracks on her cheeks from the bit of light coming in through the windows, she still would’ve known she was upset from her hitched breathing.

“Vilde?”

Vilde jumped up off the bed with a gasp, turning to face Eva before she quickly turned away again, wiping at her face.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.” 

Eva suddenly felt very sober.

“Are you alright? Why are you crying?”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.” 

Vilde’s falsely cheerful tone wasn’t at all convincing. 

Eva pouted, “Nuh uh, you’re lying. I know because one, you’re crying, and even though you do that a lot, you always have a reason, and two, you’re in here alone instead of out there dancing. You love dancing, so something must be wrong. Who do I need to beat up?”

Vilde’s shoulders drooped as she slowly sank back down onto the bed. 

Eva went to sit next to her, only tripping a little bit on the rug.

“Nobody. I really am fine, just…stressed about, um, the English test I took today. I-I don’t think I did very well.”

“Pff, I bet you kicked its ass. You’re super great at English,” Eva patted Vilde’s thigh, but was quick to remove her hand when Vilde sucked in a startled breath. “Did I hurt you?”

Blinking too fast, Vilde shook her head, “N-no, no. Uh, your hand is cold.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Eva bit her lip and ran her hand through her hair, grimacing when it got caught in a massive tangle. It must have gotten messed up earlier from Jonas playing with it while they were kissing. 

Hmm, Jonas. 

Eva loved kissing Jonas. He was so good at it. Even better now than when they first started dating. 

Things had been really good between them the past month or so, ever since they first hooked up at one of the Bakka parties he’d told her about. They had gone together, testing the waters to see if they could spend time together without it being weird. They had tried being friends after they first broke up, but that hadn’t worked out. Of course they still saw each other around all the time, and they texted sometimes, but there had been a distance between them that Eva thought they both needed to move on. 

It didn’t take long for her to realize she’d probably never fully move on from Jonas, he was her first real love after all. But when he’d asked her if she wanted to go to that party, she had said yes hoping that she could have him in her life again even just as a friend. She had missed him.

So they’d gone. They danced and drank and before she knew it they were kissing and then avoiding each other for a few days after. On day four of agonizing over what to text him, Jonas had saved her the trouble by just showing up at her door, sheepish and hopeful.

They’d been hooking up ever since. 

At first they thought about keeping it a secret, and they tried that for about a week, but hiding it from their friends would never last and things were going really well so Eva didn’t see a reason to hide. They weren’t defining what they were just yet. One long conversation over tea at her kitchen table left them both feeling confident in their decision to take things slow and just enjoy each other and see where things went. Totally chill. 

So far, she really liked chill. 

She also really wanted to go find Jonas and see if he was done being a pot head so they could get back to the kissing, but Vilde still looked tense and Eva couldn’t just leave her like that.

She needed to be there for her friend.

“How about you sleepover and tomorrow we can study together. I’m okay at English, so maybe I could help you with whatever has you so stressed.”

Vilde’s posture relaxed a bit as she shot Eva a small smile, “Yeah, that sounds fun. I could cook us breakfast. Pancakes?”

“Sold. Pancakes are my favorite. You’re welcome to just move in if you promise to make me pancakes,” Eva joked.

Vilde’s smile turned wistful, “I wish I could.”

She didn’t continue, and Eva was about to ask her what she meant by that, but Sana appeared in the doorway.

“There you are. Someone threw up on the couch, Noora’s kicking everyone out, and Chris is completely wasted so she’s been looking for cleaning supplies in the oven for the past five minutes. I was sent to update you on all of the above and ask if you have any baking soda.”

“Fuck,” Eva jumped up to follow Sana, already thinking of all the ways to cover up a puke stain so her mom wouldn’t notice. On her way out the door she stopped to ask, “Vilde, there’s some candles under the sink in that bathroom, could you grab them? They should help with the smell.”

Vilde nodded, looking maybe a little perkier than when Eva had found her, so she headed back into the chaos.


	2. FEBRUAR/NOORA

“Ugh, shit,” Noora cursed at the glob of frozen yogurt that had fallen on her new red sweater. She wiped up as much as she could with her finger and licked it off, but there was still a huge, discolored spot matting down the fabric, sticking out like a sore thumb.

Vilde peered over curiously as they walked, the biting wind ruffling her ponytail, “I told you we shouldn’t have gotten these,” she held out her own cup of yogurt. “We should’ve had those granola bars I packed. Way fewer calories and no ruined sweaters.”

Noora frowned.

Vilde stopped abruptly and turned toward her, “I’m so sorry, Noora. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s fine—“

“No, no it’s not. There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself, everything in moderation, I read that somewhere. And I’ve read that it’s really harmful to comment on other people’s eating habits unless you’re their doctor or something. I’m sorry.”

Noora squinted at her. The level of remorse Vilde was displaying was disproportionate to the situation, especially considering how they usually weren’t so blunt about the subject, preferring instead to dance around it. 

Something was off.

She decided to lead them to a bench a few feet away, and once they were seated, she angled herself toward Vilde, starting cautiously, “Vilde, can I ask you something?”

Vilde nodded. 

“Lately I’ve noticed that you seem a little different, a little—down.”

Vilde averted her eyes to stare at the yogurt in her hands. She didn’t respond, just idly twirled the plastic spoon around the cup.

“If something’s bothering you,” Noora continued, “you can talk to me about it.”

“I’m just tired. School and the bus and stuff at home are keeping me busy. Not much down time,” Vilde shrugged. “And I guess I’m still getting over the breakup. I don’t know. Things are hard right now.”

She was silent for a moment before shaking her head and giving Noora a bright smile, “But it’s okay. Don’t worry about me.”

The thing was, Noora knew that Vilde kept things close to the vest. That was something they had in common; there was so much more to them just beneath the surface, but they didn’t usually come out and say what was going on with them. They talked around their issues, supporting each other quietly. 

It had been a good system, sort of, with the food thing and when Noora noticed that little twitch Vilde got anytime someone mentioned the fact that they’d never been over to her house. 

Vilde would bring Noora food and eat with her when she noticed Noora was more stressed than usual and Noora always stepped in to offer up her apartment as a meeting place. 

It worked, but maybe not for the bigger stuff. After all, when the whole situation with Nico had happened, Noora had finally opened up and told the girls everything. They’d all been great and Vilde’s inspirational words had really helped. So maybe Vilde needed a little push to get her to open up about whatever was affecting her. It was obviously bigger than the usual stuff. She had never seen Vilde so consistently subdued before and there was no reason for her to suffer alone for so long, not when she had Noora and the others on her side.

“Vilde.” Vilde blinked at her and clenched her jaw, like she could tell Noora wasn’t going to let it go, “You don’t have to tell me, but you’re my friend and I can tell there’s something wrong. Of course I’m going to worry about you. If you want to talk, I’m here.”

Noora held Vilde’s gaze, trying to convey how much she cared with her eyes, but not sure how well that was going. All Vilde seemed able to do was stare back, expressionless. 

She hoped she hadn’t pushed too hard, forcing Vilde to clam up. 

A couple of joggers ran by, breaking the spell, and Vilde whispered, “I broke up with Magnus.” 

Noora started to frown, confused, but stopped herself, “I thought he was the one who—“

“No,” Vilde shook her head, “it was me.”

“Okay, but why? I thought you were happy together.”

Vilde stared at her again and she was startled to notice Vilde’s eyes were shining. 

“I tried to be. I wanted to be. He was sweet and fun and cared about me, but—“

“But?”

Vilde swallowed convulsively and looked out over the park. When she spoke again, her voice shook, “I didn’t love him.”

Noora still wasn’t sure what the problem was, but she took a quiet breath to keep her frustration at bay. 

“Okay, but Vilde, you hadn’t been together that long. It’s okay that you weren’t in love with him yet, that can take time. You don’t have to instantly fall in love to still be with someone.”

Vilde looked down at her lap, both of their yogurts long forgotten, “Yeah,” she mumbled before she turned toward Noora as a tear slipped free, rolling down her cheek, “I don’t think time would’ve made a difference, though.”

Vilde wiped her tear away with a trembling hand and kept looking at Noora with an undecipherable expression. 

It was like she wanted Noora to say something, like Noora had a very specific line that should’ve come next, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure out what it was. 

“Well, that’s okay. Just because Magnus wasn’t the one, doesn’t mean you won’t find a guy that you can fall in love with someday.”

Looking disappointed, Vilde gave her a pained grin, “Sure, yeah, maybe someday.”

* * *

The sound of music smacked Noora in the face when she opened the door to the apartment. 

She was exhausted, emotionally drained from her afternoon with Vilde. Which didn’t make sense because for all of the talking they did, she still didn’t feel like they had actually gotten anywhere or cleared anything up. Vilde had looked just as troubled, if not more than before, when they had parted ways after finishing their yogurts in awkward silence. 

So basically Noora was tired, disappointed in herself for being such a terrible friend, and wanted to take a warm bath in a quiet apartment while maybe eating some of those truffles she’d bought for herself on Valentine’s day at the store a few days ago. 

Instead, she walked into a one-man dance club. 

Eskild was shimmying around their living room alone, listening to something Noora didn’t recognize, wearing those metallic pants he wore to their Christmas party and nothing else. It wasn’t as unusual of an occurrence as one might think. 

Noora dropped her bag to the floor and put her hands on her hips. He was facing away from her, but she was hoping he would pick up on her unimpressed vibes and turn around.

By the time the song had gone through the whole chorus, he still hadn’t turned around. 

Noora huffed. 

“Eskild. Eskild!”

Eskild finally turned, his face lighting up as he waved at Noora. He went to his laptop and turned the music down, and in the sudden relief of the quiet, Noora realized she had the beginnings of a pretty bad headache. 

“Sorry, sorry. Don’t have the place to myself too often so I had to carpe, carpe—eh carpe the moment and dance it out to my lesbian queen Hayley Kiyoko,” his face turned serious and he pointed at Noora, “You’re not allowed to not like her, she is a goddess and can do no wrong.”

Noora sighed, “I didn’t say I didn’t like her, she was just too loud.” 

“Hm. I’m picking up on some strong negative energy from you right now. What is it?” Eskild quirked his brow.

“No, it’s nothing,” Noora shrugged and walked toward the kitchen. She sighed again when she heard Eskild rush to follow after her. “I just had a long day, Eskild, it’s nothing. I’m going to eat dinner and take a bath and go to bed. Really, I’m fine.”

She opened the cabinet to get some pasta but Eskild closed it immediately and squinted at her with crossed arms. 

“Noora, must we do this song and dance every time something’s on your mind? We both know how this is going to end; I’ll offer my guru-ing services, you’ll try to run away from your problems and me, I’ll follow you and remind you that I give the world’s best advice and really you should take advantage of having such an incredible resource right at your fingertips, you’ll finally give in and let me help, then we hug and things are all better. Let’s skip all the hoopla and get to the good part, yes?”

Rolling her eyes, Noora swung her arm toward the kitchen table with a tight-lipped smile and Eskild batted his eyes at her as he took his seat. She sat across from him and blew out a long breath, “I really am okay, it’s Vilde. She’s been acting weird lately and I tried to talk to her about it today, but now I’m even more confused about what’s going on with her. I don’t know how to help her.”

“Well, trying to talk to her was good. She knows she can go to you if she wants to talk about it more.”

“Yeah, but—I don’t know. The whole conversation felt weird.”

“Weird how? What did she say?”

Noora bit her lip, she wasn’t sure how much she should share, but maybe Eskild would be able to see something she hadn’t from their talk.

“She told me she was the one that broke up with Magnus, but when it happened, she said he had broken up with her. So that’s odd, and she didn’t actually explain that, but then she said stuff about how she didn’t love him and I can’t really explain it but it seemed like she wanted to say more but couldn’t,” Noora looked at Eskild, whose brow was furrowed.

“I know that sounds silly—“

“No, I know what you mean. Maybe she wants to open up, but is afraid? Whatever it is might be too hard to her to talk about right now, but knowing that she has you will be good when she is ready.”

Noora hunched in on herself, “She sounded so sad, and she’s been distant, and I can tell she’s burnt out. She has dark circles under her eyes all the time and…she just isn’t Vilde anymore.”

The screech of Eskild’s chair against the floor made her look up, which meant she was smushed face first into Eskild’s chest when he wrapped his arms around her and tutted. 

“It’ll be okay, my sugarplum. You can’t force these things, trust me, I know. You have to wait until they’re ready to deal with it. But you’re doing everything just right.”

Noora turned her head to the side so she could breathe better and loosely wrapped her arms around Eskild’s middle. She really wanted to believe him. 

Vilde was strong, and Noora knew she was used to handling things on her own, but the image of Vilde halfheartedly eating her frozen yogurt, staring out at nothing with blank eyes haunted her. 

If she couldn’t help, she wasn’t sure who could.


	3. MARS/ISAK

Isak settled on the retaining wall, stuffing his hands into pockets of his jacket as he looked around the quad. It was mid-afternoon, so most of the other students had gone home for the day, but Isak was waiting for Jonas to finish up an exam he’d missed.

He was just thinking about pulling out his phone when he spotted Vilde coming out of the school.

He couldn’t help but glare a little. It was a shame that things had gotten to where they were, he’d started almost kind of liking Vilde when she and Magnus were dating, even if they were completely disgusting to watch whenever they were together.

But Magnus had been so happy with her, so he gave her a chance, and then all of a sudden it was over. Magnus insisted that he’d broken things off with her, but Isak wasn’t an idiot. Magnus had been sad and mopey for weeks after, and there was no reason he would’ve broken up with her, so clearly she had been the one to do it, thus the glare.

Anyway, she hadn’t noticed him sitting there, and he was grateful he wouldn’t have to pretend to be on good terms with her. 

Something did catch his eye, though. She looked…weird.

As Vilde trudged along, he noticed she wasn’t sporting that annoying, fake smile she usually did that made her look like she’d mixed coffee and red bull. 

In fact, he’d never seen her look so shitty before. 

Usually she was more pulled together, talking too loudly and all around being too much for him to handle, but now she looked, he hated to think it, about as good as Isak felt last fall. During the bad times, when things were so unstable between him and Even, when he wasn’t sleeping.

It wouldn’t be that obvious he guessed, if he hadn’t been forced to spend a shit ton of time around her earlier in the year, but she looked fucking miserable.

She was almost at the road and, before he could stop himself, he called out to her.

“Hey, Vilde,” he winced when she startled violently and dredged up a smile that looked like it hurt.

He could tell she didn’t want to come over to him, the half second hesitation said it all, but her propensity for people pleasing clearly won out as she tilted her chin up and strode over to him.

“Isak, hi! I didn’t see you there.”

“You okay?” 

The bluntness of his question clearly threw her off. 

She blinked at him a couple of times, her smile faltering, “Yeah, I’m great. How are you?”

Isak squinted against the sun at her, choosing to motion to the space next to him on the wall in lieu of answering her question.

He didn’t blame her for looking confused, he was confused too about what the fuck he was doing. He just felt like she maybe needed someone to talk to, looking as worn down as she did, which was even more obvious up close. Her eyes were puffy and red, her posture wasn’t stick straight, her hair was in an uncharacteristically messy bun. 

God, he was getting soft. 

He almost rolled his eyes at himself for being relieved when she finally sat down. She wouldn’t look at him though, too busy setting her books and purse and shit down just so and fiddling with her skirt. 

He realized he had no idea what he was supposed to be saying, that’s what you’d get for being spontaneous, so he went back to staring at the school, letting the silence settle around them. He figured it was okay because knowing Vilde it wouldn’t take long until—

“Isak?”

There it was. 

“Hm?”

She frowned down at her skirt for a second. If he was someone who paid attention to that kind of stuff, he’d say it kind of looked like one he’d seen Eva wear. 

“Had you ever kissed a boy before you met Even?”

Huh. 

That was unexpected.

“Uh, no.” He glanced over at her and noticed the line between her brows had deepened. “Why?”

She stiffened, so he started to backtrack, ready to tell her she didn’t have to answer or whatever, but she sagged and let out a slow breath.

“How—how did you know you liked boys when you hadn’t done anything with one?”

Isak blinked, unimpressed, “That’s not how sexuality works, Vilde. You don’t have to try stuff with every gender to know you like one more than another.”

Vilde’s eyes flashed at his tone, “I know. Or…I guess that makes sense.” She turned to look out at the road as she chewed on her thumbnail, and still, Isak couldn’t figure out why he was sitting there, talking to Vilde about kissing boys, instead of going to McDonalds or doing literally anything else, Jonas be damned. 

Assuming the pensive look on Vilde’s face meant she wasn’t going to say anything else, Isak closed his eyes and tilted his face toward the sun. 

It was a nice day. Actually sunny for once, and he wondered if Even would feel like joining him and Jonas at the skate park or something. It was too pretty out to spend all afternoon inside, plus watching Even totally fail at learning to skateboard despite Jonas’ best efforts was always a fun time. 

No matter what move Jonas was trying to teach him, Even would fall and just lay there laughing at himself while Jonas shook his head declaring Even a lost cause. Then Isak would defend Even’s honor and Even would finally get up and kiss Isak for being such a great boyfriend and then they’d ditch Jonas to go home and— 

“Does dating Even feel different?” 

Isak jumped, almost forgetting Vilde was still next to him, “Different than what?”

“Like, different than when you were with Sara or Emma?”

Isak snorted, “Yeah.”

“How?” 

“I don’t know,” he snapped. When her face fell, he instantly felt like an ass, but hello these were weird questions. He sighed, “Fuck. I guess it’s hard to explain.”

Vilde turned back to him, nodding encouragingly.

“I was only with Sara and Emma because that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. My friends were hooking up with girls and talking about girls and I didn’t really want to, but I also didn’t want to be the only one not doing that so, I tried it. I wasn’t like, excited about going out with either of them, but with Even? I pretty much have to stop myself from thinking about him all the time and being with him doesn’t feel like an obligation. I want to spend time with him. He makes me happy and,” Isak shrugged, “shit doesn’t feel so hard when I’m with him. It just feels good.”

Vilde was sort of smiling, but her quivering chin and shining eyes distorted it. 

Great, he was totally fucking whatever this was up because now she looked even sadder than before. 

Her gaze settled on her clasped hands in her lap.

“Vilde,” Isak started, trying to keep his voice gentle, “What’s with all the questions about me and Even?”

Slowly, Vilde met his eyes once more. 

“I think I’m broken.” 

He had never heard Vilde sound like that, she sounded like Even did when he was having a downswing. He was at a loss for what to do.

“Vilde,” Isak gently placed his hand on her back, “I don’t know what’s wrong, but I know that no matter what it is, you’re not broken. If you’re having a hard time, there’s stuff you can do to feel better, and things won’t always be so hard.”

She didn’t respond.

“Dr. Skrulle might be able to help, if you’re feeling depressed. She can find you a therapist.”

Vilde huffed a humorless laugh, “I’m not depressed, Isak. I know depression, I deal with it every day, and I don’t have it.”

Isak furrowed his brow, “You deal with it every day?”

At that, Vilde’s eyes widened, like she just realized she’d said something she hadn’t meant to.

“Um—I-I…”

Isak scooted closer to her and moved the hand he had on her back to her shoulder, loosely hugging her. 

She let out a shaky breath, “My mom, she, uh, she.”

Vilde didn’t finish her sentence, she didn’t need to.

“Do you know why I moved in with Eskild and Noora and Linn last year?”

Relaxing into his hug a bit, Vilde shook her head.

Isak took a breath, “My dad had left, and it was just my mom and me. She had always had some…stressful times when I was a kid, but they got worse when he left. Eventually it got so bad, I couldn’t take care of her anymore, and I had to leave too.”

“Your mom has depression?” Vilde asked, her voice small.

“No, schizophrenia. It was really hard trying to help her, and leaving her like I did may not have been the right thing, but I didn’t know what else to do. She’s getting help now, though, and she’s doing a lot better.”

Vilde sniffled, so Isak looked away but kept hugging her. It felt like she needed it.

“I make sure she takes her meds and doesn’t get too stressed out, but it’s hard,” Vilde whispered. “Trying to keep track of everything on my own, it’s hard. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and no one can tell. I worry that someday I might just collapse in bed next to her and not be able to get back up.”

Isak wished for a second that Eskild or literally anyone more helpful during an emotional crisis could suddenly materialize. Sure, he’d done an okay job being there for Even, but that was different. Cuddling in bed with Vilde didn’t feel like an appropriate course of action. 

“You don’t have anyone you can talk to? The girls?”

Vilde looked at her skirt again and started playing with the buttons on it, “Eva and Noora know something’s up, but. I keep a lot of things from them, things I don’t know how to talk to them about.”

He pursed his lips, “I’m not the expert on healthy coping mechanisms, but speaking from experience, keeping everything to yourself fucking sucks. It doesn’t get easier. No matter how hard you push it down and try to pretend you’ve got a handle on things, it doesn’t. It feels a lot better to tell someone. That’s what friends are for.”

Vilde tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear.

“Was it worth it? Being with Even, was it worth coming out and knowing people talk about you and think differently of you?”

Isak frowned at the abrupt subject change, “I don’t give a fuck what people think about me. I used to, but if they don’t like that I’m with Even, then that’s their problem. Even’s the best thing in my life and getting to be with him has made anything shitty about coming out totally worth it.”

“How did you do it?”

“Do what?

“Come out. How’d you know what to say and when to bring it up?”

“Uh, I guess I came out to Eskild first, but I wasn’t that worried about him having a problem with it. He wasn’t even surprised when I told him,” Isak sighed, thinking back on that time in his life was never fun. “Then I got kebabs with Jonas after basically hitting rock bottom and I told him. There isn’t a smooth way to bring it up, you just sort of have to say it. Although, I made him guess, so I guess I didn’t really do that…”

Vilde blinked at him.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Freedom!”

Isak and Vilde both jerked toward the source of the noise to find Jonas stood with his arms raised, like he was thanking the gods or some dramatic shit just outside the front doors to the school. 

Isak rolled his eyes.

“Okay, I gotta go.” He stood and hefted his back over his shoulder, “But, uh, seriously Vilde, talk to someone. It doesn’t fix everything instantly, but it helps.”

Vilde bit her lip and nodded, cracking a small, genuine smile.

“Good luck with your mom,” he added.

“Thanks, Isak.”

“Isak, my man, let’s go,” Jonas waved him over as he tried to unlock his bike one-handed. 

Isak saluted Vilde goodbye and walked away.

As they wheeled their bikes toward the road, he glanced back at Vilde one last time. 

She was still hunched in on herself, but he thought maybe she looked a little lighter.

He grinned, hopped on his bike, and took off after Jonas.


	4. APRIL/SANA

“Sana, wait!”

Sana stopped and turned, seeing that it was Vilde running toward her down the hall. She glanced at her phone. They only had a few minutes before class started, she hoped whatever Vilde needed would be quick.

“Hi, what’s up?”

Vilde’s shoes squeaked as she stopped in front of Sana’s locker, “Hi, hi, you’re still hosting the bus meeting today right?”

She just barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes, “Yes, Vilde. For the thousandth time, the meeting is at my house, and no my parents won’t be there. Neither will my brother or his friends, so don’t get your hopes up about that.”

Vilde did something complicated with her face, but then smiled, “Great, sounds good. Do you think it’d be okay if I came over a little earlier to uh, interview you?”

At Sana’s confused expression, Vilde continued, “I’m writing an article. Yeah, an article about—about being a Muslim girl in Norway. I was hoping I could come over a little earlier before the meeting to ask you some questions.”

“Okay…”

“Great, see you then!” Vilde rushed off down the hall, leaving Sana standing there suspicious but intrigued.

None of the girls had ever shown much interest in her faith before, so there was no fucking way Sana bought the whole ‘interview’ bullshit Vilde was trying to pull. 

It was going to be an interesting afternoon.

* * *

Silence. 

Complete and utter silence. 

Sana snuck a peek at the clock on her living room wall, noting that they’d been sitting there in stilted silence for almost five whole minutes, which didn’t sound that long, but when it was five straight minutes of her and Vilde going back and forth between staring at each other and avoiding eye contact, it felt like forever.

Unable to take it any longer, Sana cleared her throat, “Um, Vilde?”

Vilde looked at her with a start.

“The rest of the girls will be here in about ten minutes, did you want to get started with the interview, or…?”

“Oh, yeah, sure, that’d be good. Um—“ Vilde’s gaze flitted around the room before landing on a Quran on the bookshelf. “Is it hard being Muslim?”

“Huh?”

“Hm?” 

“What do you mean? Like, is it hard being Muslim in terms of trying to be a good Muslim or do you mean is it hard because of our society and the socio-political climate?”

“Both?”

Okay, Sana could play along.

“I guess some days can be hard. I’m human, so always trying to do what’s right is tough because sometimes it would just be so easy not to, but that’s what makes you strong, resisting the urge to take the easy way out in favor of doing what’s right,” Sana sighed. “And most days I can ignore it, but it is annoying to have people stare at me all the time because of my hijab. That’s actually pretty tame compared to some of the stuff I’ve experienced.”

“Like what?”

She shrugged, “People make assumptions. They make judgments about things they don’t understand and lash out. I know it’s probably out of fear of the unknown or whatever, but being yelled at on the street or spat on or threatened online isn’t acceptable just because I may not look like them or practice my faith like them, you know?” Sana exhaled, “No, I guess you wouldn’t know.”

They sat silently again for a moment, Sana trying to calm back down, Vilde worrying her lip between her teeth.

“I’m so sorry, Sana. I had no idea you dealt with that kind of stuff.”

“Yeah, well, like I said, most of the time I can ignore it. But it sucks.”

Vilde bobbed her head absentmindedly and started picking at her chipped nail polish.

“Do you ever wish you didn’t have to wear your hijab? So people wouldn’t give you such a hard time?”

“No,” Sana glared. “Other peoples’ ignorance doesn’t make me any less proud to be Muslim, and I don’t have to wear the hijab, Vilde. I choose to. It makes me happy and the last thing that could ever make me think of taking it off would be the prejudiced actions of others.”

“Right, sorry.”

She took a slow breath, “Vilde, what’s this really about?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I know this isn’t for some interview. You’ve never shown any interest in journalism before and you haven’t written down anything we’ve said so far. Did you even bring a notebook?”

Vilde deflated, “No.”

“Okay, so?”

“I wanted to know how it felt knowing that people think less of you just because of one part of you.”

“Why?”

“Because, because I’m, I think I might be—” Vilde looked at her, then back down at her lap before squeezing her eyes shut. Sana was about to ask what was wrong, but Vilde let out a breath and stuttered, “I-I’ve been keeping something from you, and the other girls. I wasn’t sure how I felt for a long time, and I didn’t know how to say it, or when, or even if I wanted to, but it’s been weighing on me and I just don’t think I should keep it to myself anymore. I’ve been so worried about how you’d all react, especially Eva,” Vilde mumbled, “but I guess I’ll just say it. I’m—“

The buzzer made them both jump. Sana felt awful about going to answer the door right when Vilde was in the middle of some kind of revelation, but it was obviously the rest of the girls because they started buzzing it incessantly. 

“Shit. I’ll be right back,” Sana said, darting up off the couch.

Unfortunately, they didn’t get another chance to talk alone.

The girls had descended upon the living room in a boisterous jumble, they’d had their meeting, and Vilde pretended that nothing had happened. But Sana couldn’t stop glancing at her the whole time. 

Vilde stayed slumped in her chair most of the afternoon, but made sure to turn on the cheeriness whenever the others looked at her. The only one who seemed to notice anything was strange was Noora, who Sana caught quirking her brow as she silently appraised Vilde a couple of times. 

Once they were all leaving, Sana grabbed Vilde’s arm to get her to hang back.

“My parents will still be out for a little bit if you wanted to talk some more.”

“I don’t think so. I’m tired. I just want to go home.”

“Okay,” it felt wrong to just let her go, but she did look weary. “Text me later if you change your mind.”

Vilde tried to smile, but it didn’t look right. 

Sana watched her walk away until she was out of sight, leaving a feeling of dread deep in Sana’s chest.

* * *

_Ping._

Sana looked away from her book to see her phone lit up with a new text. She put her book down and grabbed the phone. Seeing that the text was from Vilde instantly put her on high alert.

**Vilde: Are you still awake?**

**Sana: Yes.**

**Sana: How are you?**

**Vilde: I’m not sure. Can I ask you something? It’s not about being Muslim, at least, I don’t think it is.**

**Sana: Sure.**

**Vilde: Does it bother you to hang out with Eskild or Isak or Even knowing they’re gay?**

**Sana: Vilde.**

**Sana: No.**

**Sana: Also Even’s pan, not gay.**

**Vilde: Okay, cool.**

**Sana: ???**

**Sana: Hello?**

**Sana: Why would you even ask me that?**

**Sana: Vilde?**

**Vilde: I think I’m a lesbian.**

Sana stared at her screen. 

Then she stared at it a little longer.

She reread the text a few times, deliberating about how to respond. 

Deciding to go with her gut and not keep Vilde in suspense any longer, she typed out her message and anxiously waited for a response. 

She didn’t have to wait long.

**Vilde: I love you too Sana. <333**


	5. MAI/EVEN

“There you go, have a great day,” Even handed the tiny, red-headed woman her coffee with a warm smile.

He turned to the next set of customers and got started making their drinks, grabbing the scones they wanted, and trying not to be too obvious when he checked the clock to see that thankfully he didn’t have much longer until his shift was over.

Working at the cafe was great. He was lucky to have a job at all, especially one that paid well enough that he could support himself, and most of the time he genuinely enjoyed interacting with the cast of characters that traipsed through the door day in and day out. 

He was honestly shocked at how much he could learn about a person from just a few minutes of interaction while he prepared their mocha, and it was no secret that he loved hearing peoples’ stories. It was kind of his thing, stories, and being a barista meant he heard a lot of them. He used to think only therapists and bartenders got the nitty gritty out of people, but no. Something about the smell of coffee beans got people chatting. 

And Even loved it, he really did. But that day his feet were hurting from standing for so long and it was one of the first nicer days outside in a while and maybe he could think of a few other ways he’d rather spend his afternoon. 

He tried to not be too hard on himself when, as he was pouring the milk into the man’s latte and putting the finishing touch on his foam art of a smiley face, he pouted at the sound of the bell chiming again, signaling the arrival of yet another customer. 

Even looked up through the strands of hair that had flopped down on his forehead to see that it was Vilde walking though the door.

Confused, since she rarely ever visited the cafe, he shot her a quick smile, which she returned somewhat forced, before delivering the couple’s drinks to their table.

“Hi, Vilde. How’s it going?” Even wiped his hands on his apron as he slipped back behind the counter.

“Fine.”

Even waited for her to elaborate. She didn’t.

“Okay. Well, what can I get for you?”

“Oh, uh, I’ll have a green tea.”

Even nodded and got to work making her tea, but he couldn’t resist glancing back at her. 

She looked…jumpy. Like she wanted to say something but couldn’t. 

He shook his head. He was probably reading too much into it. Not everyone was as easy to read as Isak, so he shouldn’t worry. 

“Alright, here you go, one green tea. Do you want anything else with that? Everything here,” he gestured to the display case, “is baked fresh every day and I personally recommend the snickerdoodles.”

“No, thank you. I’m not hungry.” 

They stood there for a moment, not saying anything else, Vilde clutching her tea close to her chest.

“Okay,” Even shrugged, assuming that was the end to their bizarre encounter. “Enjoy your tea.” 

Vilde didn’t move. She just continued to stand there, staring at him. If she kept looking at him like that for much longer he was going to start squirming. 

“When does your shift end?” Vilde blurted, just as Even started to turn away.

“I’m done at three. Why?”

Vilde looked at her phone, “That’s in forty minutes, I can wait.”

She turned on her heel and walked away to set up shop at one of the small tables in the corner. 

“Wait for what?” Even whispered to himself. 

* * *

Five more customers came and went fairly smoothly before Even’s shift ended, the only hiccup being a slightly irate older man who couldn’t understand how they could possibly be out of blueberry muffins. Other than that, things had gone well and Even wasn’t too exhausted after a day full of customer service. 

Which was good, because Vilde was still sitting at her table waiting to…talk to him? He wasn’t sure, but it was a good thing he still had some energy. Interacting with Vilde warranted some extra energy.

On the plus side, sore feet and a conversation with Vilde would probably be enough to convince Isak to give him a foot massage later. 

Even handed the reins over to his co-worker Marthe once she showed up and hung his apron up for the day. 

He took a fortifying breath and strode over to Vilde, “Hi.”

Vilde’s head snapped up from her phone, “Hi!”

“How was the tea?”

“Delicious, thank you for making it.”

Even grinned, “You’re welcome.”

“You don’t have anywhere to be right now, do you?”

“No, I need to get home by six to help Isak with dinner, but until then I’m free. Did you want to—“

“Perfect. Come with me,” Vilde stood up and linked her arm with Even’s to lead him out the door.

* * *

Even winced as Vilde yanked him down a little harder than necessary to sit next to her on a bench in the park.

“Uh, so did you want to talk about something?” he ventured.

“Yes. I heard that at your old school you had some sort of breakdown and it was related to you coming out and everything went horribly wrong. Could you tell me about that?”

Even swallowed. 

People that knew even a little bit, even just rumors, about what had happened at Bakka when he’d had his first manic episode didn’t tend to bring it up so bluntly or ask such invasive questions without skirting around the subject first. 

If he wasn’t so uncomfortable, he’d be impressed with her forthrightness. 

Even tucked his hair behind his ear. 

It wasn’t that he wasn’t willing to talk about what happened, he was getting better about opening up to certain people and how much he shared varied from person to person, but being blindsided while in a public place with Vilde, someone he wasn’t the closest with, put him on edge.

He licked his lips, “Well, um. What exactly did you want to know?”

Vilde’s eyes softened, “I’m sorry if that was rude, I just wanted to know why things went badly for you. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

Even felt his shoulders loosen a little, “How about you tell me why you want to know before I get into it?”

To his surprise, Vilde’s expression closed off. 

She stared ahead for a few moments without saying anything. He wasn’t sure how he could’ve been the one to hit a nerve with such an innocuous question, but he immediately felt guilty for causing such a reaction. 

In a meek voice, Vilde said, “I’m worried about my coming out going badly and I wanted to know how you did it and what went wrong so I can try to avoid it.” 

That…was a lot to take in all at once and none of it was even close to what he was expecting. 

Her words registered slowly and it hit him just how big that moment was for Vilde. 

“Okay well, I don’t think my situation will be the same as yours because part of why my initial coming out didn’t go well was because I was manic and didn’t realize it.”

Vilde stared at him intently.

“I-I guess I would suggest talking it out with your friends first and not,” Even coughed, “um trying to like kiss any of them or anything like that.”

“You came out by kissing one of your friends?” Vilde asked incredulously.

Even huffed a laugh, “Yeah. Like I said, I wouldn’t recommend that. Words are good. Just find a place you feel comfortable and tell them whenever it feels right.”

Vilde nodded, pensive.

He kind of couldn’t believe Vilde was gay. Well, that wasn’t right. He could believe it, it wasn’t crazy to think that she could be, he just never would’ve guessed she was based on how frequently, and explicitly, she talked about guys. 

She could be bi or pan or something, he supposed. It wasn’t cool of him to just assume that she’s a lesbian, especially considering he’s pan and knows how annoying and invalidating it feels when people always assume he’s gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay but like hello, it’s 2017, other sexualities exist, it’s not as black and white as just gay or straight—

“Even!” Vilde snapped her fingers in front of his face, startling him back to the present.

“Sorry. What was the question?”

“I asked if you had any other tips.”

“Not really?”

“Okay. Thanks for listening,” Vilde said, making no move to get up and leave.

“Vilde?” She turned to look at him, “Something to keep in mind for all the times you might have to come out over the course of your life? No matter how people react, if it’s good or bad, none of that has anything to do with you.” Vilde bit her lip, looking away. “You’re a good person and there’s nothing wrong with being gay or bi or whatever. Just remember that in case someone ever tries to make you think otherwise.”

Vilde nodded slowly, a slow grin curling up the corners of her mouth, “Thanks, Even. I’m really glad I met you. You’re so sweet and I really appreciate you helping me. And you and Isak are super cute together, you—he seems so much happier with you, even if he is still touchy.”

Even laughed, eyes crinkling, “Thank you. I’m a lot happier with him, too.”

“I’ll see you at school,” Vilde stood.

“I hope everything goes well.”

Vilde shot him a grateful smile before turning and walking away.


	6. JUNI/VILDE

**Mamma <3: Hi hi my sunshine**

Vilde grinned down at her phone before stuffing it back in her bag and boarding the bus. She looked around, worried for a second that there weren’t any open seats, before she spotted a girl at the far end of the bus waving at her and gesturing toward the empty seat next to her. 

She willed herself not to blush too obviously, ducking her head as she made her way to the back and sat down primly. 

The girl looked like she was about the same as age Vilde, but she didn’t recognize her, so Vilde figured she probably went to a different school, and she was really, really cute. 

It was still strange to let herself think things like that without panicking and trying to backtrack or make up some ‘straight’ excuse for thinking it in the first place, but Vilde let herself notice that the girl was indeed very cute and wow was it getting hot or what? 

Ever since she’d come out, and it still hadn’t been that long, Vilde had been working hard to overcome her mental block when it came to thinking about other girls. She repeated a certain mantra every time she caught herself tensing up: my thoughts are not predatory (she learned that from a heartfelt talk with Eskild), it’s okay to be attracted to other girls. 

Still, it hadn’t been an easy process. Spending almost eighteen years repressing such thoughts and feelings meant she’d had a lot of mental crap to work through, but she was getting there. 

Like right then, for example, she was sitting next to a cute girl who, if she wasn’t mistaken, kept glancing over at her flirtatiously and she didn’t feel ashamed or sweaty at all. Okay, maybe she was a little sweaty, but she was mostly kind of excited. The thought occurred to her, she’d never flirted with a girl before. Yeah, that time she made out with Eva had been—something—but they hadn’t flirted beforehand. Eva was drunk and it had happened really fast, so potentially flirting while sober in the light of day with a girl was totally new territory. 

And she was definitely blushing, despite her best efforts, but hopefully the girl would find it endearing.

Vilde was trying to psych herself up to say something, but the girl’s phone rang and she answered it. Letting out a breath, she was grateful for the extra time to come up with something less embarrassing to say than, ‘Cool phone, I have one too, wanna get married?’. 

Her own phone vibrated in her pocket and she remembered she hadn’t responded to her Mom yet. 

**Mamma <3: I’m heading home from work. Are you on the bus?**

**Vilde: Hi! Yes, I’m going to Eva’s house for a while, but I’ll be home for dinner. How was your day?**

**Mamma <3: Great!! I’m tired, but I made it through the whole day. **

**Mamma <3: I think the meds are really working.**

Vilde’s eyes started to well up. 

Her mom had started therapy a couple of months prior and she’d started taking antidepressants, which she seemed to finally be adjusting to. It was incredible. It wasn’t like she was a whole new person or anything, it was more like she was finally able to actually be herself. The changes weren’t happening overnight, but her mom didn’t spend all of her time in bed anymore, and Vilde felt like she could breathe properly for the first time in years. 

They actually started going on short walks around the city together a few times a week, usually after her mom got home from her new part-time job that she was genuinely enjoying and able to hold onto, thanks to the medication. And while it didn’t pay much, but the extra income had been enough to make their rent payments so Vilde didn’t have to worry about finding other places for them to live anymore. Her mom had also started helping with other stuff around the house, like cooking sometimes and helping her keep track of bills. Vilde was thrilled. 

But the best thing by far was seeing her mom crack a smile for the first time in Vilde couldn’t remember how long. It just happened one day when they were watching something on TV together. Her mom laughed, a laugh Vilde used to be so familiar with but hadn’t heard in far too long, and she’d promptly burst into happy tears. 

It felt like she’d gotten her mom back, and knowing that her mom was feeling better, that she wasn’t constantly stuck between the two extremes of being numb or in pain, meant the world to her. Vilde felt better, too. She was more relaxed all the time, but especially at home, she didn’t get headaches as often, and now when she smiled, she meant it. Every time.

Things weren’t perfect. Her mom still had depression and sometimes she still had down days, but they weren’t as frequent or as intense. They still didn’t have tons of money, but Vilde didn’t have to worry about them being able to survive. And sometimes, for just a moment, when she’d come home to her mom cooking dinner, or snuggling up to her while they watched a movie on their couch, Vilde got to feel like the kid again. 

She let out a quiet laugh and wiped at her eyes. 

**Vilde: That’s fantastic. I’m really proud of you, Mamma. <333**

**Mamma <3: Honey, I can’t tell you what that means to me. I’m so proud of you. We’re both pretty great. **

**Vilde: Yeah, we are.**

Breathing a happy sigh, she put her phone away. The girl next to her had apparently ended her phone call at some point while Vilde was texting and was now biting her lip at Vilde.

Vilde faltered, “Uh, hi?”

“Hi,” the girl smiled, and okay wow those dimples could kill. “I’m Hanna.”

“V-Vilde. I’m Vilde.”

“I noticed you smiling at your phone. Were you texting your boyfriend?”

Vilde laughed, or well, it was more of a shriek, “No! No, no, no,” she cleared her throat, “no boyfriend.”

“Hm, your girlfriend?”

Hanna batted her eyelashes, literally batted her eyelashes, and Vilde was so out of her depth. 

Also, unfortunately, being flirted with by a gorgeous girl on the bus rendered Vilde unable to complete the biological process of breathing properly, so of course she started choking on her own spit.

It took her a minute to stop feeling like she was drowning and to get herself back under control, but luckily Hanna didn’t look turned off by her little display.

“No, I don’t have a girlfriend,” Vilde squeaked. Then, pulling from some unknown reservoir of courage, she added, “Yet.”

Hanna’s face slowly broke out into a grin, making her eyes sparkle. 

“Me neither. Maybe we could change that,” Hanna opened her phone, pulled up a new contact page, and handed it to Vilde. “I’m going to the Sigrid concert this weekend with some friends and I have an extra ticket. You should come.”

It took everything in Vilde not to gape openly. That would not be attractive, and she absolutely refused to screw this up. 

This beautiful girl, with dimples and kind eyes, was seriously asking Vilde to go to a concert with her, and it might even be kind of a date thing. 

It all had to be a dream.

“Yeah, yeah, that’d be so cool,” Vilde quickly entered her information into Hanna’s phone, double checking to make sure she got her number right, then handed it back. 

“Awesome,” Hanna smiled again and stood as the bus came to a stop, “I’ll talk to you later, gorgeous.” Then she turned and glided off the bus.

At that, Vilde had to gape at little. Just a little. 

* * *

She slowly wandered toward Eva’s house from the bus stop, noticing a couple of birds singing in the a tree as she passed by, then entered the house without knocking once she reached the door. She couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face. It was just such a beautiful day. 

She slipped off her shoes and found all the girls already gathered in the kitchen; Chris and Eva were sitting at the table while Noora and Sana stood by the stove where Noora was peeling carrots. Sana was smiling dreamily at the carrots. That was…odd.

“Vilde!” Chris shouted, announcing her arrival.

Eva turned with a smile, which Vilde’s noted didn’t make her palms sweat anymore, and everyone else greeted her as she took a seat next to Chris.

“Someone’s happy,” Sana smirked.

“Yeah, you’re glowing,” Noora added.

“Did you get some?”

Vilde frowned at Chris, “No. Well—“

“Oh shit, did you?” Eva asked, breathless.

Despite working hard to overcome her awkwardness with talking about that kind of thing with the girls since coming out, Vilde still felt her ears turn red. 

“No, but I might get the chance to soon. If things go well.”

Chris turned to face her head-on, “Details. Now.”

“I met someone. A girl. On the bus. She invited me to the Sigrid concert this weekend.”

The room was silent for a moment, then all hell broke loose.

“You’re gonna get laid!!”

“I can’t believe you’re going to that concert, I’m so fucking jealous!”

“That’s awesome, Vilde.”

“Sexy times for Vilde, sexy times for Vilde, SEX SEX SEX!”

“Chris,” Sana chuckled and rolled her eyes as she sat across from Vilde at Eva’s side. “It’s a first date. They might not want to have sex on the very first date.”

“I’m just saying, if you’re feeling it and she’s feeling it, then maybe you could both be feeling it together. You get me?”

There was no hope in Vilde preventing the blush that overtook her face then. 

Sure, in theory, that sounded nice, but Sana was right. It was a first date, her first date with a girl ever, and she wasn’t necessarily ready for all of that yet.

She may have done some research about what exactly sex with another girl would entail, but, well. Kissing was an acceptable place to start. Baby steps. 

“What’s her name?” Noora asked, turning back to the carrot she was peeling.

“Hanna. She’s um, she’s really cute. I have no idea what to wear.”

“I’ve got you covered,” Eva winked. 

“Oh, that brown skirt with the—“ Noora gestured with the peeler.

“The buttons?”

“No, the one with the embroidery.”

“Oh! Yeah, that could be cute. But it’s a concert, maybe something more—“

“Yeah, no, you’re right.”

Vilde tuned them out, figuring they’d let her know once they had decided what she was going to wear. 

She turned to see Sana watching her inscrutably and quirked her brow in question.

When Sana didn’t say anything, Vilde chuckled, “What?”

Sana smiled, glancing at Chris, who was also staring at Vilde with a smug grin, and shrugged, “You look different.”

“Different?”

Chris patted her shoulder, “Happy. You look happy.”

“Yeah, you do,” Sana agreed. 

Vilde’s throat suddenly felt thick. She could not cry again, it seemed all she’d done for months was cry all the time. But it was hard not to when things were going so well. 

She looked around the room. 

She was surrounded by her best friends, friends that truly knew her and accepted her and loved her. She knew that when she left that afternoon to go home, her mom would be there, awake and probably smiling, ready to cook dinner together while they listened to Beyonce. She could look Eva in the eye and hug her without feeling a pain deep in her chest. She was going to what was bound to be a great concert with a pretty girl. 

She wasn’t hiding. 

She wasn’t drowning. 

She hadn’t faked a smile in months.

Vilde looked at Sana and Chris again, beaming. 

“I am happy.”

They returned her smile before getting pulled into Noora and Eva’s conversation about whether or not lipstick was a good idea for a first date.

Vilde bit her lip to try and control her smile, which was definitely entering obnoxious territory.

“I am happy,” she muttered under her breath. 

And she really was.

Happy.

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on [tumblr](http://www.smilexdarling.tumblr.com).


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